I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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