i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize