Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
