eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
