Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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