By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
