I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
