his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
