your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize