I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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