Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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