It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
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Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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