I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
