yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
That accounts for only three of the penises
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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