but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
