like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize