ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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