Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
i think my cat just said my name.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
