When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
time to smoke my breakfast
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
