can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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