just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
