god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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