Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
