wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
