your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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