Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
