Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
