Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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