so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
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Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
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So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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