atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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