he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
