We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
