I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
