I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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