he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
I love us.
I have already put on my inside pants.