Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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