He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
