Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
