The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
