I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
