You don't have asthma, your pregnant
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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