stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
