How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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