you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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