Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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