we're blogging at a bar
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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