I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm gonna fight the coyote
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize