I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
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My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
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Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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