Your face is a jimmy john
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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