So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
