I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize