You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
