Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You have to summon your inner elephant
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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