Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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