i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Randomize
