I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
