32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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