is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
