I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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