question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
