i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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