okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
